Love

A boy once received a red bicycle from his mom.  He wasn't too pleased with it because it was quite uncomfortable to ride.  As the story goes, the boy was playing in the woods one afternoon and left the bike sitting up against a tree.  As the afternoon drew to a close, he went home completely forgetting about his bike he left leaning against the tree. 

But this isn't a story about the boy, although he would eventually reunite with his bike five decades later.  This is a story about a bike leaning against a tree.  At a glance, an oddball combination of juxtaposed metal and wood sit beside each other, left to weather out the storms along with the quiet, pleasant days.  The tree, with its roots firmly in the ground, grows and matures season by season.  Its' bark is rough and doesn't bend much, even under immense pressure from the elements.  Sometimes, the tree proves to be unshakable, as if nothing were to sway it against its will; yet, the simplest of things, like heavy winds or snow, threatened to break its branches year after year.  The tree stood firm through all of this, without argument, without questioning what was to happen next.  The tree just was a tree.
The bike leaned up against the tree for as long as it could.  The wheels made of metal and rubber, the seat small and firm.  The bike, a beautiful example of human ingenuity, was not used to the forest environment, nor staying put for so long.  Its freedom, although once dependent on the boy, was what it had known.  Traveling the countryside alongside an adventurous companion, feeling the elation of being somebody's momentary everything, only to be left feeling hurt and lonely when it realized the boy, whom it did everything it could possibly do for, left it behind and forgot about it.  After all, there are other bikes just as beautiful and willing to accommodate such an adventurous boy.  
So there, together, the tree and the bike sat. Year after year, they both endured the rain, the snow, the wind, the sunshine.  For the first couple years the bike leaned up against the tree.  It had no choice but to.  The tree, ridged in its ways, provided shelter from the weather and something to lean on during the roughest of storms.  And as years passed and time grew on, together they stayed, the tree and the bike.
As the tree grew stronger and more confident, it decided to pick up the bike, embracing it as it was.  Not asking it to change into something it was not. The bike had to just bend a little, as the tree had to affix itself around an otherwise inflexible object.  However, the bond between the tree and the bike could never be stronger.  Each had to make sacrifices to live with one-another in the most unlikely of scenarios.  Both the tree and the bike had to learn to cope with one another in a precarious predicament, endure each other, and learn to live in harmony.
Then one day, the boy, old and gray, returned to the site where he had left his bike. Although, when he returned, he had realized that he had been completely forgotten.  The boy was able to recognize his bike right away.  He couldn't be more saddened by what he saw.  The bike was held up firmly by the tree.  The tree, big and tall was happily embracing the bike.  The bike, faded and old, yet still a beautiful example of human ingenuity, couldn't be more comfortable nestled snugly in the tight grasp of the tree.  The boy realized the only way to take the bike back was to cut down the tree, an endeavor not worth his time.  Alas, the bike wasn't the same and wouldn't be able to carry the boy's burdens down any path of his bidding, even if the bike still wanted to.

Like I said before, this story wasn't about the boy at all.  Nor was it really about a tree or a bike.  Although very true, this story was actually about love.  And this story is about the closest metaphor you can get to true love.


You see, the tree will always be a tree, and the bike will always be a bike.  They were put together in the most unpredictable of circumstances.  Yet, here they still are: together.  Together they defied probabilities, endured the hard times, braved the elements, stuck it through in the complexities of life, and will inevitably outlive those who left them behind.  That, my friend, is the definition of true love!

                     

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Giving Your Child Wings and A Great Life

Birds have a great system for teaching their offspring how to fly: they push them onto the ledge and then out of the nest.  While it is inevitable that some do not make it to adulthood for various reasons, i.e. predators, disease, or premature flight, most young chicks do learn how to fly with this method to become parents themselves someday.  Humans can learn a lot from birds' parenting style.
After observing some parenting methods, I have noticed that many parents hold their children back from making it to the nest's ledge, often impeding them from making any headway towards independence.  What these parents don't understand is children's habits slowly turn into adolescent's habits, and eventually adult's habits.  It is healthy as a parent to slowly push their children onto the ledge of the nest in preparation for their eventual flight out of the nest.  The alternative is a 40 year old virgin living in their parents' basement, or even worse, the 40 year old child with their hodgepodge family living in their parents' basement.  Don't laugh, I have known several people who still live under their parents' or significant-other's parents' roof until their mid 40's.
Here's an eye opener, an underdeveloped child is less likely to succeed in life.  They are less likely to make a sufficient income to live on their own, less likely to make necessary social connections needed for interpersonal relationship health, and less likely to learn life-skills, i.e. budgeting, job interviews, driving, shopping, meal preparation, etc.  If your children lack the ability to succeed in life, then they are more apt to fail once their primary caretaker, you, are unable to take care of them.
Another possible outcome of holding children back is an absolute rebellion during adolescence.  In this case, the child takes everything for granted, simply because life is too easy and everything has been handed to them/done for them.  Therefore, they acquire an unhealthy sense of self-entitlement that real life can't satiate.  In other words, this child has become a spoiled teenager with an attitude!  These children often become familiar with the law around the age of 16, possibly younger, become sexually promiscuous, and develop an "I don't care/you owe me" attitude.  At this age, the child is hard to deal with and will need intervention which can be quite emotional to all parties involved.
Knowing how detrimental holding children back can be, it is now time to analyze your parenting style and if it needs to be modified.  Answer the following questions:

Do you do your child's homework if it is too hard for them?
Do you tie your child's (age 5 and older) shoes for them?
Do you dress your child (age 4 and older), zipping and buttoning clothing for them?
Do you give your child money when they ask for it?
Do you sell or "get rid of" their pets they promised to take care of only to get another one shortly after?
Do you cook separate meals for your child/children so they will at least eat?
Do you lead your child (age 4 and older) to go play with other children?
Does your child (age 5 and older) still wet the bed without any medical reasoning?
Does your child refuse to try new things?
Does your child need you to help them with their daily hygiene routine?
Does your child need you to micromanage their routine?

This list might get some parents' feathers ruffled, and it should!  If you said "Yes" to more than two of these questions, you are what's been dubbed by psychologists as a helicopter parent and are impeding proper growth and development of your child.  If you said "Yes, but.." to more than one of these questions, then you are fearful of letting your child approach the ledge of the nest and you need help with the process of letting go.
It is very important to self-actualize where the helicopter behavior is coming from and then start the process of pushing your child slowly to the ledge.  You don't have to push them out of the nest until both of you are ready, but pushing them to the ledge helps them learn the life skills they will need as an adult.  It is your job to raise your child/children to become responsible, independent, self-sufficient, respectful, and capable members of society.  What you don't want is to see your child struggle as an adult because you didn't allow them to struggle as a child.  The behaviors you see now are the behaviors they will have as an adult if you continue to enable them.  Your goal is simple; continually push your child/children onto the ledge of the nest and give them wings when they are ready to fly.




  

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A Little Shaky

It has been awhile since I posted and, quite frankly, blogging has been the last thing on my mind.  I have had a difficult couple of months and I might have to file for bankruptcy.  The rental property I own has not been maintenance by HOA since 2006 and the wear and tear is finally starting to show.  The whole complex is literally sinking and collapsing, forcing the city to condemn it unless it is fixed.  A few other HOAs have stepped in and left throwing up a white flag.  Finally the decision that the complex's repairs will have to financially fall onto the owners, a sum of $7,000,000 divided amongst the owners. An amount I cannot afford.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I offered some "friends" a temporary place to live so they could get back on their feet.  I was doing a good turn.  At first I figured it would be a few weeks, which turned into months, and even more months than I anticipated.  Before long, however, it was evident that they grew roots and planted themselves firmly into the carpet.  It wouldn't have been so terrible if it weren't for the fact that they were the opposite of healthy.  The female was addicted to pop and cigarettes, and her husband was addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, painkillers, and marijuana. He tried passing the marijuana off as a medical need, which I could understand being in the Holistic Health field.  But shortly after he "moved" in it was clear to me that his marijuana addiction was merely for recreational purposes.  The difference being that he often lit up before work and during work and driving back to my house blitzed completely out of his mind (true marijuana medication for pain should be ingested); I had asked him on several occasions to "medicate" elsewhere and he still lit up while lying in bed watching TV.  The addiction became obvious when things in my household started disappearing, first little stuff and then the bigger items like my snow tires and power tools. 
Along with all of that mess, both ate the most disgusting, unhealthiest foods you could possibly imagine.  They bought the manager special meat, 8 cases of pop per month, processed foods, kids' cereal, Koolade  crap, and boxed meals were their staples.  In their eyes, food was just something to stop the tummy from grumbling, nothing more.  But here was the kicker, they would help themselves to whatever was in the fridge or pantry, as long as it wasn't healthy of course, so I found myself buying more food than what I should have.  I began eating the unhealthy foods too, eventually gaining 15lbs which I am still trying to burn off.  The electric bill, the water bill, and the other costs in the household went up substantially.  On top of that, they used my consumable items as well (as long as it wasn't my natural cleaners because they didn't know how to clean.  They didn't even wash their hands after using the bathroom!).  And since I don't allow nasty chemicals into my house, I used my sol-u-products and natural cleaners to clean up after them, which they scoffed at (apparently only bleach is an acceptable cleaner to them).  I began to notice their messy habits getting worse and worse until they wouldn't even pick up the dishes laying on the floor in their room.  They were so inconsiderate and so lazy that any dishes he took to work never made it back home with him.  At the end, we had no more forks or Tupperware left, and I was down to my last blender bottle and spoon: almost every eating utensil and dish was missing.  It finally dawned on me that my home was a free bed & breakfast for them and I became their maid.  They fully took advantage of me and my generosity.  Never again will I let anyone stay in my house.  If a person is hard up, they got themselves there because of bad decisions they made and I have learned the hard way that it is not my problem. 
I normally do not splatter my personal life all over the web but I have been dealing with humility and feelings of despair for a bit now.  As a Holistic Health professional, I am almost embarrassed that I let my lack of personal and financial health consume every facet of my well-being.  I am trying to hold it together as best I can, and hopefully pull myself together with help; which if I can do it, anyone can.
So here are a few things I have learned over the past year:
1) Do not amalgamate your lifestyle with unhealthy people.  Unhealthy people have bad habits which are easily incorporated into a healthy lifestyle.  Letting unhealthy people into your life without boundaries is allowing for their influences to change your good habits which will be detrimental for your safety and well-being.  This goes for friends, family, and even lovers.  Unhealthy people have a way of infiltrating a healthy person's lifestyle.  Stick to your guns and don't veer off course.
2) Stick to the mantra, "it is not my problem."  I am the type of person who cares a lot for people.  I listen to people's problems and try to help, often times taking the shirt off my back to give to them, no matter the weather I have to face.  But I finally learned that when you give and give and give, people take the free handouts as an opportunity to get free stuff.  Believe it or not, there are people out there who look for these nice people to take advantage of. Other people do the bare minimum to get by in life and take free handouts as they come because they don't have to lift a hand to get something free. I look back to a boyfriend I had given just about all I had to, even my last couple of dollars one day so that he could get himself lunch, but we had our falling out because of his infidelity; ungratefully, to this day he blames me for becoming homeless.  In most cases, as I learned, putting other people first is not healthy.  If I had realized that a year ago, I would have said no to the squatters and I wouldn't be recovering from the expensive catastrophe which ensued.
3)  A healthy lifestyle stems from a healthy environment.  Before I let those unhealthy people into my life, my home environment was very organized, clean, and healthy.  I don't allow toxic chemicals like bleach or Lysol into my house and my fridge and pantry was stocked full of healthy food.  When that all changed, so did my health.  Slowly the house began to get filthy and disorganized while bacteria (like e. coli and salmonella) swarmed on every surface imaginable.  Just a few little changes within  my environment had devastating affects on my overall health and well-being.   To become healthy, a person must have a healthy environment.

While these tips seem like no-brainers to most, I realized how easy it is to become a total mess when boundaries are allowed to be trampled over. My life is not the way it was last year due to some poor decisions I had made trying to help those in need. I have been told on many occasions that I am too nice, and finally, after putting myself into a situation I cannot recover from, I know exactly what that means.

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The Amazing Cranberry

Cranberries are a tart fruit popularly consumed in North America, especially during the winter months in a sauce form, and in the summer months in juice form.  However, the berry, being so tart, is difficult to eat without the accompaniment of something very sweet.  And with the fruit being so good for the body, it is such a shame to see it so adulterated with sugar and other sweeteners. 
But the cranberry is still a wonderful fruit with so many healing properties that even processed forms offer benefits.  As everyone knows, for example, women find comfort in knowing drinking cranberry juice will stave off a urinary tract infection (UTI), and even can dissolve kidney and bladder stones.  But taking cranberry extract regularly can also prevent UTI's, kidney and bladder stones, and reduce incidence of kidney infections.
Overwhelming evidence has indicated that taking cranberry extract can also aid in immune function while decreasing inflammation.  The powerful antioxidant compound responsible for all of this is oligomeric proanthocyanidine which works to remove bacteria, such as E-coli, out of the ureter and urethra.  What's more, the same compound acts as a kind of lubricant so bacteria cannot cling to the walls of the bladder, urethra, and ureter so re-population of any bacteria is virtually impossible.
The last great quality about the little berry is that fact that it reduces inflammation naturally while increasing immunity.  Not only does the berry contain high amounts of polyphenols, and proanthocianidines, but it also contains vitamins A, B-complex, C, E and K which helps with eyes, heart, blood, central nervous system, lymph glands, and skin health as well.  People who take a regular cranberry supplement have noticed a number of health benefits on top of urinary health and even some  people swear by it touting it as a super fruit.  Super fruit or not, the cranberry is an amazing little berry. 
As always, it is important to consult your physician before taking a daily supplement.  But also note that doing your own research is paramount when deciding to include something in your diet.   As I always say, health begins at the mouth; a decision we often take for granted until intervention is needed.  Nevertheless, adding the cranberry on salads, yogurt, or into desserts is a great way to boost your immune system while giving your meal that extra zing!

Howell, A. B; (2002) Cranberry proanthocyanidins and The Maintenance of Urinary Tract Health.  Critical reviews in food science and nutrition.

Kessler, T; Jansen, B; Hesse A; (2002) Effect of Blackcurrant-,Cranberry and Plum Juice Consumption on Risk Factors Associated With Kidney Stone Formation. European journal of clinical nutrition.

Ofek, I; Goldhar, J; Zafriri, D; Lis, H; Adar R. (1991).  Anti-Escherichia Coli Adhesin Activity of Cranberry and Blueberry Juices. New England Journal of Medicine.

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Why You Don't Buy Vitamins From Walmart

If you are looking for a bargain, there are various places to shop to buy good items for less.  Flea Markets, 99 Cent Stores, Family General, thrift stores and even garage sales can be the greatest things since sliced bread.  Then there are the more pricier items you would find at WalMart, KayMart, and Target, with the added benefit that the item you purchase is unused (albeit for those of us that have worked there, that statement is questionable) and you can always take it back if you don't like it.  That said, now is the time to take your multivitamin back and get a refund.  What?  Well you can tell the associate that they don't absorb into your body, rather they pass right through the intestine and oxidize while doing so.  Don't feel bad for doing this because that associate makes about $9 per hour and really doesn't care about anything except going home at the end of the day.

Why should you care.  Most multivitamins are packed with fumerates, sulfates, gluconates, and dangerous forms of various oxides.  These compounds are cheap ingredients but work well to encapsulate the vitamins and minerals in powder form.  However, these ingredients pose problems during digestion and absorption.  Dimethyl fumerate, for example, is very reactive and is subsequently banned in Europe because it has been known to cause severe reactions such as eczema.  Cupric oxide is not a bioavailable source of copper, and magnesium oxide has been known to trigger mood changes or cause dizziness, tiredness, weakness, or allergic reactions in some people.

Then there is the concern of contaminants within multivitamins.  Trace amounts of lead, mercury, nickel, arsenic, and other heavy metals or chemicals can make an individual sick.  The amounts may be too small to notice right away, however changes in memory, sleep, hunger patterns and overall feeling can be a clear indication that the supplement contains unwanted contaminants.

There are a few sources of vitamins on the market which are superior, are safe, do not oxidize or contain harmful ingredients, and have a high bioavailability.  First on the list is Melaleuca's Oligo which does not oxidize in the digestion process and is over 80% more soluble than Centrum.  Next on the list is a tie between Karuna Maxxum 4  and Mountain Naturals Superior Care which are both made from top quality ingredients.  Last on the list is Universal Nutrition Animal Pak, however this multivitamin is strictly made for athletes and is not suitable for children or pregnant women.

Bright yellow urine is actually a good sign that your multivitamin is working, however it is an indication more water is needed throughout the day.  Green or orange urine is not a good sign and could indicate artificial dyes or synthetic ingredients.  When a multivitamin fully absorbs at the cellular level, excess minerals are absorbed by the nephrons in the kidneys to regulate water/mineral concentration levels.  A well hydrated body can withhold more nutrients than a dehydrated body.  When the body's cells absorb the nutrients it needs, cells function better and organs, tissues, and muscles begin to work better.  The right dosage of vitamins and minerals allow for proper disbursement of the necessary nutrients.  Simple noticeable changes to the body can occur within weeks of starting a good multivitamin regimen.  Hair will grow thicker and stronger, nails will grow faster and thicker, eyesight will become sharper, skin will be tougher and more radiant, and in some cases, even the signs of aging will reverse (gray hair will slow down and facial skin will tighten again).  When your urine is a light, bright yellow, you know that your multivitamin is absorbing correctly because the excess riboflavin (what makes your urine naturally bright yellow) is being excreted along with the other excess nutrients your body doesn't need for the moment.  It is also important to remember that your body naturally knows what it needs so making a judgement call based on a whim usually isn't the most efficient way of giving your body the right dosage.

Lastly, vitamins need fat soluble lipids and carbohydrates as a transport vessel into the intestine.  Some people feel nauseated or sick to their stomach after taking a multivitamin on an empty stomach.  This is because the vitamin is dissolving and there's nothing to take it to the intestine.  Vitamins and minerals rely on lipids and carbohydrates to act as guides for better absorption.  Eat a little snack or even a meal before taking your multivitamin and drink plenty of water with it.  These small changes will have big impacts on your body. 




 Baker, David. "Cupric Oxide Should Not Be Used For A Copper Supplement For Either Animals or Humans" The Journal of Nutrition

McEntee, Joanne. "Fumaderm: What is the Evidence for its Efficacy and Safety" North West Medicines Information Center.

O'Brien, Jacqueline Sc.D., Council for Responsible Nutrition, Annals of Internal Medicine

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Two Easy Rules For Healthy Communication

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Child's Nutrition

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